Players can be difficult to spot at first because like the narcissistic pre-madonna, they use charm and good looks to suck in their prey. Players give the vibe of being casual and easy going, which can be powerfully magnetic, given how many gay men are attracted to this type of energy. Players however can be spotted fairly quickly by closely examining their words and through observing their interactions with others. This is another type of guy you want to avoid for serious dating. In the gay world, use of alcohol and certain types of party favors is not uncommon.
Dating junkies thrive on perpetually being in a state of going out on new dates or meeting new people. In the gay world of dating, drama queens are not that difficult to spot. In fact, they are super simple to detect because of their overt nature. Drama queens are addicted to chaos, confusion and indecision. They are quick to overreact, take things way too personally and make everything a crisis.
In many ways, drama queens are addicted to the non-stop emotional roller coaster of highs and lows and experiences few periods of stability. Enough said.
Gay Men: 10 Types of Guys You Never Want to Date!
Self-loathing gay men are very difficult to date. They have a chip inside of them that for whatever reasons makes them think they need to deny who they are. Users can initially be hard to spot. Part of the identification problem involves their unique ability to skate by in life, mostly getting by on combination of good looks and charm. Other obstacles to user identification relate to their uncanny ability to make you feel like you are the center of their world, which obfuscates the reality of what is really going on — they have targeted you because of your perceived financial stability.
Users do not like to work and often have low-paying, low level jobs if they work at all. Users should not be confused with cheap-skates however because cheapskates at least have the financial resources to support themselves. This particular type of guy may at first glance seem like someone you want to date.
Commonly, overachievers do fit the bill for a number of desirable traits, such as financial stability, assertiveness and intelligence. The problem with overachievers, however, is they usually are never around and when they are, they often obsess over their job or privately owned business.
Overachievers characteristically have the need to be the absolute best at everything they do. This need however comes at a cost in the personal relationship department. If you are looking for a guy to settle down with and who is never around, the overachiever is your guy. Warning — this person will likely suffer from health problems as they age, including heart and gastrointestinal issues because of cumulative stress!
The body image dude is perhaps one of the easiest to identify on this list of 10 Types of guys you never want to date. Many of these guys suffer from low self-esteem and compensate for this problem by over emphasizing the physical presence. Entering into a relationship with the body image dude is like stepping into a town called crazy.
For example, the body image dude will refuse to engage in intimacy if the lights are on and may refuse to any type of physical closeness if they have to take their shirt off. Yep, these guys exist and there is a good chance you probably have encountered one or more of them before. The 10 personality types offered here speak in generalities and certainly do not represent the entirety of gay men. To be fair, many of the characteristics presented in this article apply to straight men as well. These general traits however are important to be mindful of.
Should you involved with someone like that, you really have problems. So there you have it — the 10 types of gay men you never want to date. Now go out and find your dream man! Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. Too bad we didn't have this head's up before we set out finding these human trainwrecks, in the first place. Well I'm none of those the only problem I faced in the LGBT community is the fact that these guys don't even want to give me a try because I'm black. John Hollywood, that was so true what you said about some of the gay men.
Why I say this? I was with one for seven years until I told him to hit the road. Mine was the type of man that was gay as a 33 dollar bill, but had to be drunk first to admit it. When he was sober, his whole personality changed. It was like he was a totally different man. He would not say a word to anyone while sober to the point I thought and others thought he was socially retarded.
When he started drinking, you could not shut him up. He became extremely passionate, actually the life of the party. Then the next day back to the other person that was so shy, that people often ask him if he was ill. So yes your right on and I had one and no thank you John Hollywood don't want another one. Again thanks for the important information. Just wanted to say that it's a bit unfair telling people that they shouldn't date guys who aren't fully comfortable with how they look. Only because someone doesn't want to take his shirt off because he fears he might be judged or simply doesn't feel comfortable doesn't mean he is a bad person who you shouldn't date.
Buyer beware, I fit into a few of the categories above You left out judgmental close minded guy who is quick the to label everyone and pretend that he is above it all. This is the guy will point out everyones imperfections and even write articles on the subject because according to them, there is nothing bad about themselves.
I found your article to be very informative. I finally understand who i have been dating. Thank you so much. Why don't you write something yourself? Easy to criticize. It's another thing to actually write. Now enjoy your day, ya hear? Buy bye!
Never dated, but using this to try and characterise myself to figure out where I stand in the whole gay image thing, I realise I don't really fit into any of these. I don't really know how to feel now. I'm responsible with money, but not a cheapskate. I don't like attention at all cause I guess I have social anxiety. I need the emotional side satisfied before being attracted to a guy enough to want something significant. I don't go out, at all.
Occasionally with a mate once a month. I haven't dated before. I hate drama as it is to much time and energy gone to waste. I accept my flaws and try to build upon them and change. I only keep people around me if they build me up, I don't think that's using, more that there's no point in having or being around someone that your of no use to. Ive managed to achieve a degree and stuff and constantly aim to get better, but not to be the best.
And I aim to lead a healthy lifestyle and try to stay in shape to an extent but not so much so that its my life. I'm also 21, Indian and and have been openly gay since I was Just wondering what does this mean then if I don't fall into any of these categories? So confused Its well written and lengthy but kind of comes off as superficial. I mean those traits are obviously visible no-no's which anyone can spot on in less than a day's worth of interaction.
I was probably looking for more depth i guess. Things everyone would easily miss out on. Like tell me something I don't know. So It must be really difficult to you to find a guy. Because you're a mix of at least 3 of those types. You're creating stereotypes, but you forgot you're the first stereotype every gay men want to avoid: The type of guy who think he's in rigth to decide who is to avoid, and wath everyone needs.
Your narrow minded vision of the world only belong to you, so don't speak as if you're telling us a bible. The term is "prima donna", not "pre-Madonna". An Italian word for first lady; a diva, not an era of time before Madonna. Interesting list, but my friend and I can't stop laughing at number two.
Surely you mean "prima donna" a very old term that comes from opera , not a man who is in the early stages of transforming into the singer Madonna. Is it so bad to do something free or something that is within a budget? While I do think that there is truth to a lot of these traits, there are a lot that attenuate from a persons unique situations. Since many if not most of us cannot abide drama queens of whatever nationality, type, etc. For any who are unaware of the concept of a "secret garden" certain forums and websites supposedly keep a special place just for spammers and bots.
So the bots and spammers spend all their time talking to each other and never know that no real human sees what they do. I think you should add, "He has facebook friends who are all musclebears and look just like him, and no other type of friends. It's refreshing to see articles like this geared toward gay men.
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I have seen so many gay men hurt and even destroyed because of these type of guys. The issue now: Yes, to love is to be response able. Thanks for stopping by Cardisa! You made some great points here and yep, these can apply to the ladies for sure! Honestly, it can be confusing for most people. Transgender Terminology. A Black or Latina lesbian with a very masculine gender presentation, often being read as boys or men, but usually not identifying as male. Generally speaking, an ally is a member of a privileged group who takes a stand against oppression example: An ally works to become part of social change rather than part of oppression.
A trans ally is someone who commits to being open-minded and respectful to people who may have different or unconventional gender identities or presentations; who takes the time to learn more about trans people and trans lives; who confronts assumptions around gender roles and gender presentation; and who works to change the misunderstanding and mistreatment of transgender and transsexual people.
Drugs that are used to block the production or interfere with the action of male sex hormones. Often used in combination with estrogen in MTF hormone therapy; commonly used anti-androgens are spironolactone and finasteride. These practices are often misunderstood as abusive, but when practiced in a safe, sane, and consensual manner can be a part of healthy sex life. Many men who do not have one or all of these characteristics define themselves as bears, making the term a very loose one.
More appropriate Native terms for gender variant people will depend on the group or nation being described. Some use different methods of layering clothing to help hide their chests. Some bind only on certain occasions; some bind all the time. The fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of bisexuals, which is often times related to the current binary standard. This attraction does not have to be equally split between genders and there may be a preference for one gender over others. A person who is said to take a more submissive role during sexual interactions. A person who identifies themselves as masculine, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally.
Surgical reconstruction to create a more male or more female appearing chest. There are two basic procedures that are usually performed for FTMs: For MTFs, chest surgery may involve breast implants, which are sometimes used to augment the amount of breast development that may have already been achieved through estrogen hormone therapy. This can be a continual, life-long process for homosexual, bisexual, transgendered, and intersexed individuals.
Keep in mind that coming out can happen in pre-, post- and non-transition stages and identities. The term cross dresser is most frequently used to describe a heterosexual male who cross dresses as a female some or all of the time, but does not typically desire gender transition. Short for testosterone cypionate, one of the main injectable forms of testosterone prescribed to FTMs in the United States.
It occurs when members of a more powerful social group behave unjustly or cruelly to members of a less powerful social group. Discrimination can take many forms, including both individual acts of hatred or injustice and institutional denials of privileges normally accorded to other groups. Ongoing discrimination creates a climate of oppression for the affected group.
In this method, large incisions are made horizontally across each breast, usually below the nipple. The skin is then peeled back so that the mammary glands and fatty tissue can be removed with a scalpel. The muscles of the chest are not touched. Certain areas of hard-to-reach fatty tissue may also be removed via liposuction such as areas near the armpits. Nipples are usually resized and grafted into place. A term often used by cross dressers to indicate wearing the clothes traditionally associated with your birth sex. The painful and costly procedure of having hair permanently removed.
MTFs and some cross dressers remove facial and body hair through electrolysis, while some FTMs undergo electrolysis before certain types of phalloplasty. A term often used by male-to-female cross dressers to indicate being cross dressed and not in traditional male clothes. Short for testosterone enanthate, one of the main injectable forms of testosterone prescribed to FTMs in the United States.
How being a gay man can make your body issues worse - BBC Three
Estrogen therapy is administered to MTFs to induce the presence of feminine secondary sex characteristics. It may also cause softening of the skin, slowing or stopping of scalp hair loss, decrease in muscle mass, decrease in sex drive, decreased erections, and decrease in testicular size. Estrogen can be taken in pill, patch, or injection forms. A term primarily used to describe women who prefer the social company of gay men. While this term is claimed in an affirmative manner by some, it is largely regarded as derogatory.
A person who was born in a female body but whose gender identity is male. Also can refer to those assigned female at birth, in the case of intersex people, whose gender identity is male. Short for Female-To-Male. Sometimes also used by others who are born in female bodies and who move toward masculine or male presentation without hormones or surgery.
Going full-time, or living full-time, in the social role of the sex opposite that assigned at birth. Term used to refer to the LGBTQI community as a whole, or as an individual identity label for anyone who does not identify as heterosexual. Unless someone chooses this label for themselves, it may be considered derogatory. Examples include hairstyle, vocal inflection, body shape, body movements and gestures, facial hair, etc. Cues vary by culture.
A condition identified by psychologists and medical doctors wherein a person who has been assigned one gender at birth identifies as belonging to another gender. A person who, by nature or by choice, conforms to mainstream gender-based expectations of society. The societal, institutional, and individual beliefs and practices that privilege cisgender gender-typical people and subordinate and disparage transgender or gender variant people. A person who, either by nature or by choice, does not conform to gender-based expectations of society.
A gender-variant person whose gender identity is neither male nor female, is between or beyond genders, or is some combination of genders. Scrotal implants may or may not be added during these procedures. A professional organization devoted to the understanding and treatment of gender identity disorders.
The organization is named after one of the earliest physicians to work with transsexuals, Dr. Harry Benjamin. The most widespread set of standards and guidelines used by professionals for the medical and mental health treatment of transsexuals. The HBSOC are periodically updated and revised as new scientific and medical information becomes available. General term used to refer to over-the-counter herbal hormones that claim to simulate natural or prescription female or male hormones.
An outdated term, usually considered offensive, for intersex persons. The assumption, in individuals or in institutions, that everyone is heterosexual, and that heterosexuality is superior to homosexuality and bisexuality. Prejudice against individuals and groups who display nonheterosexual behaviors or identities, combined with the majority power to impose such prejudice. Usually used to the advantage of the group in power.
Any attitude, action, or practice — backed by institutional power — that subordinates people because of their sexual orientation. Those benefits derived automatically by being heterosexual that are denied to homosexuals and bisexuals. Also, the benefits homosexuals and bisexuals receive as a result of claiming heterosexual identity or denying homosexual or bisexual identity. The irrational fear or hatred of homosexuals, homosexuality, or any behavior or belief that does not conform to rigid sex role stereotypes.
It is this fear that enforces sexism as well as heterosexism. Administration of hormones to affect the development of masculine or feminine secondary sex characteristics. Hormone therapy is usually continued for life. This surgery is often pursued by FTMs as part of the transition process, as well as for health reasons. The idea that gender identities and expressions do not fit on a linear scale, but rather on a sphere that allows room for all expression without weighting any one expression as better than another. Refers to a homosexual, bisexual, transperson or intersex person who will not or cannot disclose their sex, sexuality, sexual orientation or gender identity to their friends, family, co-workers, or society.
Arrangements of a society used to benefit one group at the expense of another through the use of language, media, education, religion, economics, etc. The process by which a member of an oppressed group comes to accept and live out the inaccurate stereotypes applied to the oppressed group. Some intersex people are also transgender, but intersex is not typically considered a subset of transgender, nor transgender a subset of intersex.
A type of FTM chest surgery procedure that is effective for individuals with small amounts of breast tissue. In the keyhole method, a small incision is made along the border of the areola usually along the bottom , and the breast tissue is removed via a liposuction needle through the incision. The nipple is left attached to the body via a pedicle a stalk of tissue in order to maintain sensation.
Once the breast tissue has been removed, the incision is closed. The nipple is usually not resized or repositioned. The term lesbian is derived from the name of the Greek island of Lesbos and as such is sometimes considered a Eurocentric category that does not necessarily represent the identities of African-Americans and other non-European ethnic groups. The heterosexist notion that any woman who prefers the company of woman, or who does not have a male partner, is a lesbian.
Usually refers to a lesbian with a feminine gender expression. Can be used in a positive or a derogatory way, depending on who is using it. Is sometimes also used to refer to a lesbian who is seen as automatically passing for heterosexual. A male-bodied person who identifies as a lesbian. This differs from a heterosexual male in that a male lesbian is primarily attracted to other lesbian, bisexual or queer identified people.
A person who was born in a male body but whose gender identity is female. Also can refer to those assigned male at birth, in the case of intersex people, whose gender identity is female. Scrotal implants may or may not be added. First used in by British journalist Mark Simpson, who coined the term to refer to an urban, heterosexual male with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle.
This term can be perceived as derogatory because it reinforces stereotypes that all gay men are fashion-conscious and materialistic. Short for Male-To-Female. Individuals who have not attained and may not desire to attain gender reassignment surgery, and may or may not take hormone therapy.